"You are a wonderful and giving friend, Loyal beyond reason, Heart first; solid and true. It may be that your 40's were about finding the strength of your Soul. May it be that your 50's and beyond are about finding the Love and Passion that your Soul deserves."
These words were written to me by a dear friend who it feels I have known all my life. Despite our differences, and there are many, we are still as sisters; close, loving, understanding, caring, compassionate. She has been solid beside me when all else felt as if it were crumbling to ruin. She understands me at a core level that is rare, even when we misunderstand the surface, the Core remains solid.
I don't know what led me to rediscover these words, written to me in the darkest days of my winter in the abyss, but I think today I needed the reminder of my worth. Sometimes I forget. It is easy to look past my true worth, look to the materialistic, the facade, the unimportant accomplishments, or lack of, that our society deems to be the gold standard of worthiness. I am not highly paid, do not have a college degree, drive a hand-me-down vehicle, ride a grubby Harley that I love, have a mongrel that adores me, and have a bank account that currently hovers near zero after bills are paid. So, on the surface, maybe I don't seem like so much. But if I look beneath the surface, take a moment to see into my Heart and Soul, I can see the true value of who I am. My friend knows me well, and does not exaggerate when she says I am "Loyal beyond Reason, Heart first; Solid and True." I lead with my Heart, it is an open book. I can't change this behavior, it is as much a part of who I am as are my blue eyes and my mania. I lead with my Heart; open, yet solid and true. I love easily, warmly, and fully. I cannot but do otherwise. Love is what I have to share, and it grows exponentially. But I am solid and true, and Loyal to a fault. Once my Loyalty is earned, it is not easily broken. Again, part of my very Nature. As much as my friend knows the Core of my Being, I do hope there is some prophesy to her words. My Heart and Soul, strong and solid, deserve Love and Passion. I do seek to fill the void with the love of friends and family, and the passion for my art and home. And I will continue to lead with my Heart; open, honest, solid and true. I could not do otherwise.