Tuesday, May 22, 2012

All Gleed Out

    Still overwrought with full blown Mania. I have never had an episode last so long, nearly a week. I don't know whether to be elated or concerned. I am racing headlong through my days, being amazingly functional and productive, as long as no one minds the A.D.D. brain that can't stay focused on any given train of thought for longer than a few minutes. Oddly, I am soothed by Civil War documentaries. Over the weekend I played a 10 hour documentary that begins with the political machinations that inspires succession, through the assassination of President Lincoln and beyond. I played the mini-series through three full times as the soothing sounds accompanying my frenzied activities. It is obsessive, I know. It is compulsive, I know. But at this point I know better than to try and predict, control or understand some of my actions. Careening through my days, overstimulated, overactive, forgetting to eat, but never forgetting a workout. I have lost 4 pounds in a week. It is a bit alarming. And tragically, I believe that the last three pounds was all breast. I have nothing left, thank the gods I have good pec muscles or I would be as flat chested as I was at 8. But damn, my muscles are corded steel. I feel like I have the brain of an A.D.D. 10 year old, in the body of a fit 25 year old, wearing the skin of a 50 year old. It is a very weird combination, and all I want to do is race around, burning energy, not sleeping, playing, talking rapidly to whoever will listen, thank the gods my dogs like the sound of my voice. Tonight I had to dance for a solid 2 hours to bring my exhilaration down to a manageable level. I danced, sweated, gyrated, cavorted, twisted, writhed, and swayed for a solid two hours. And, still not tired.
    I am not sure where or when this will stop. I have managed to put it to good use. But it gets wearing and concerning. Maybe I am just overflowing with glee and it has nothing to do with mania at all. Just an epic cavalcade of glee. Yeah, that must be it. But damn, I am about gleed out. How much glee can one girl tolerate? I guess I will find out. Tomorrow is another day.

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