Sunday, June 3, 2012
I Am Strong
Interesting how an old memento, stumbled upon accidentally while rummaging through an as yet unpacked box of miscellany, can stir the demons that have slept soundly for several weeks. Maybe I was led to the box through some subconscious prodding, as I had had flickers from ghosts earlier, randomly, unwished for, unwanted. So, to find a solid reminder of things rather forgotten, was a few moments of disquiet, not exactly nausea inducing, but nearly. As is my proclivity, I find a certain amount of violence to be appropriate. Amazing how a two pound engineers hammer, wielded by a strong, willful hand, can easily crush most small reminders of ghosts and demons. I admit, it was too easy, I would have preferred to break a sweat, maybe lost a little blood, or at the very least, felt a bit of fatigue. I enjoyed pounding it to smithereens, then gathering the fragments into a small black bag, ready for proper disposal. I won't let it remain in my house, or come near to Bob, as it may taint whatever it comes into contact with. Soon, I will stop at a river, and happily toss the tightly bound fragments. I will not let the demons loose this time, the ghost are losing their power over me. I am feeling more in control of who I am, and who I chose to be with. I feel strong. Stronger everyday. Today I have felt invincible, and so the demons and ghosts hold no power over me. Not today. Hopefully no more. I am strong, powerful, unstoppable. I no longer fear my demons. I no longer heed the moanings of the ghosts of my past. The Past is the Past, it is what I do now that defines Me. I am strong, powerful, invincible.