Once again, or still, Brain goes Haring Off into some of the most unlikely of places. Unexpected, strange, surrealistic, yet encouraging and comforting places. Brain often chastises Body for being spastic, random and overly exuberant, but really, Brain is every bit as inclined to such antics. It is a way of life for Brain, Body, Spirit and I. We take each other on the most interesting voyages through time and space, ignoring much of the rational and logical, as we pelt through life together. Lately, I have been seeing life through new eyes, literally, as I did get new spectacles recently, but figuratively as well. I have been ignoring some of the hard realities of my life in order to focus energy on the what-ifs, maybes, and possibilities. I feel like I have thrown off the shackles of linear thought these last few years, having finally shed the last remnants of that particular millstone. Yes, there are hard and fast realities of life that cannot be ignored; mortgage, utilities, groceries. But that is about where my list now ends. I have put a lot of energy into trying to shift the mundane aspects of my life, so much energy that has been thrown out into the vast cosmos with little or no return on my investment.
And so Brain has decided that we need to start going beyond my normal "outside of the box" approach and step clear out into the wilderness, beyond boxes or even anything of a remotely cubeseque nature. We have held firm to certain fantasies over the decades of life, schemes that seem beyond the scope of ever being realized. But why should they be unrealized? Why should Brain, Body, Spirit and I be held back from dreams that have been a cornerstone of existence these many years? I know what it is. It is fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of the unknowable. Fear of failure. Fear of success. And yes, Fear of poverty. This last one is actually almost laughable, since I have lived below the poverty line all of my life, and am always just one financial catastrophe away from devastation. I do not fear failure so much, since I am quite excellent at failing, landing flat on my face, picking myself up, dusting off the road grime, bandaging wounds, and carrying on. Fear of success though, that is actually something I think has been at the root of my inability to have good follow through. Projects left 90% finished, connections left to fall by the wayside, ripe ideas left hanging on the vine until it is too late to harvest their splendor.
Now, Brain is Haring Off into a new direction. New, yet not so new. Following dreams and schemes that have been lugged through life like a favorite steamer trunk. This has been the year of dramatic changes, frightening and exhilarating, dark nights with brilliant dawns, chrysalis opening to reveal the metamorphosis, grand finales, new beginnings. I have stretched the scope of my potential, grown, changed, returned to who I truly am. I have reconnected with parts of My Self that I had thought long lost to me, and in doing so have awakened the slumbering creatures that are those long treasured hopes and dreams. Suddenly, the fantasies do not seem so far fetched or unrealistic. Instead, I can see how they just might be realized if I continue to let Brain give chase. If Brain gives chase, then Body, Spirit and I will follow close behind, ready to spring into action. We will follow down the twisting, turning paths, through tangled thickets, across sun streamed meadows, under dark canopies of dense boughs. Brain will lead, we will follow. Brain, Haring Off, in hot pursuit, in the game, chasing dreams. I wonder what we will catch.