Thursday, June 14, 2012

Another Fork In The Road

    So many times in my life, as I head doggedly up the path, trying to move forward, make progress, reach goals, I will find myself at a fork in the road. An alternate choice that jogs off to the left, totally skewing the direction of my journey, altering my perceptions of reality, tweaking my view of success, twisting my goals into new and interesting shapes as a clown makes a simple tube of rubber into balloon animals. A change of course. A new purpose. The excitement of the unknown. I am not at all abject to stepping off into a whole new direction with my life, I have done it before and will do it again and again. To some, this may make me seem flighty, unable to stay the course. Some may think I give up on ideas and goals, change directions too quickly. I see it as the ability to be flexible, to change the ebb and flow of my life with the ebb and flow of opportunity. I do not fear change. I do not fear risk. I embrace the fluid nature of my life.
    Now, I stand at a fork in the road, looking to the left down a twisting, narrow dirt path, lined with moss, paved with random stones, that disappears into the underbrush, my future in defilade. Straining my eyes in an attempt to penetrate the dense, intertwined foliage will do me no good. It is futile to even try, but I can't help but stare, my mind filling in the possibilities. I do have a very vivid imagination that will take me through a breakneck tour of the potential chaos, wonder, change, hardships, triumphs and tribulations that may ensue if I should step off into this new unknown. My brain roils with ideas. My mind is already scampering ahead, dragging my dreams along with it. My very nature to Leap Before I Look wars with the practical aspects of life in the real world. I know I will strive for the happy medium, despite my raging desire to run down this twisted path, hoping to reach whatever awaits me at the end. I will force myself to take some time to ponder the ramifications of what I am seeing in my Mind's Eye, contemplate the reality, turn it in my hands to see all sides as well as the angles.
    I love the thought of a new path, a new adventure, a new reality. But in the world around me thought does not always or easily transfer into reality. But this really isn't so far fetched, not a monumental change, more like a multitude of smaller changes being balled up into an overall scheme with huge potential for adventure, as well as an even happier day to day existence. True, this trail may just be a tangled detour that will lead me right back to my current path. But that isn't a bad thing. My current path feels relatively stable, granted stable for me is usually a bit of a rollercoaster, and I am moving towards specific goals. How will I know what may lay in wait, lurking beneath the tangled vines and shady undergrowth if I don't walk the trail, feel its surface beneath my feet, peer into the shadows? I need to see what is around that curve, just out of sight. So, I know that even as I control my natural tendencies to Leap, that I will indeed step into this new unknown. If for no other reason than to see what waits, to satisfy my curiosity, to not regret passing this enticing, shadowy realm of possibilities. I do love an adventure.

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