Scatterbrained. That about sums it up. I like to blame the lack of focus on hormones, but in reality I am sure that is the impending arrival of Mania. There is so much to do, so many things I want to be doing at any given time, and I am expending energy with no thought for future impact. I am flying through my days, doing so much, but feeling like I accomplish so little. It is fun, frenetic, frenzied, fabulous. The downside is that I cannot get Brain to settle down and focus. Once again, Brain takes on all the markers of an A.D.D five year old who can't make up their mind for crayons, Legos, swings or tetherball, and so tries to do all of them at once, culminating in a hilarious mash up. That is Me. That is Brain. Fortunately I have pushed my training up a notch, and Body has all the focus needed. I love how Body can ignore the yammerings of Brain and devote all the energy needed to perform joyful torture upon ourselves. There is a daily ache of overused muscles, quietly bemoaning Body's zeal and zest.
But we need Brain onboard. There are too many projects lying fallow due to lack of organizational skills. Too many tasks left half finished as Brain goes haring off after the latest squirrel. Just to sit at a keyboard and attempt to gather thoughts into comprehensive, complete sentences is an arduous task that requires no distractions, not even tiny ones. Just the sound of the clicking of the keys is enough to draw some focus off of the words trying to flow. It is a weird juxtaposition; Body and Brain. Body, eager to move forward, to strive, reach goals, grasp the gold ring. Brain, dysfunctional, giggly, spastic, running rampant. I do wish there were a way to sync up Body and Brain, a jumpstart, tuning, syncopation, rhythm. But there is none, just happenstance.
I do not mind Brain joyriding in Body. Brain should be allowed a little down time, a relaxation of standards, a few well earned vacation days. But it makes it damned hard to get things done. But Body is making up for it, taking advantage of the extra time not being consumed by Brain. Body is more than making up for wasted mental time. So I should just relax, let the two take their turns in dominance. Now is Body's time in the sun. Brain can nap in the shade.