Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Light, Fluffy, Scrambled Brains

    Light, fluffy, scrambled Brains. With cheese. Sums it up. Major life changing events of a riotously awesome nature, combined with chronic fatigue, too much to do, never enough time, and fun to be had at every turn is definitely a recipe guaranteed to leave me muddled, happy, and more than a little demented. But it is a good form of dementia, and hopefully of limited duration. Or it could be early onset senile dementia. I am sure I will know soon enough. But these days I am content to lay back and let events ebb and flow, tugging my thoughts and emotions in a dozen different directions. When needed, I can narrow my focus to a manageable level, sort of. Staying on track for any length of time is difficult at best, "Oh look, is that a Corvair?" My housework suffers a bit, my To Do list is not getting any shorter, keeping up an intelligent conversation can be difficult, being on time has been a struggle. But none of it is so dramatic as to unravel the fabric of time and space. Unless you count the space that seems to inhabit Brain, that has become a vast field of stars, quarks, nebulae, gas clouds and solar winds. I wish I had the ability to concentrate long enough to get such images into full color. Instead, I peck away at my keyboard, trying to capture the feelings, thoughts, processes, that gallop wildly through the lush landscape of my mind. I know this will pass, sadly. I enjoy letting Brain wander off leash, we find so many interesting little tidbits under the bushes and rocks that lay off the trail, waiting for a curious nudge to expose the secrets hiding beneath. I just wish I could stay focused, just for a bit, just to channel this weird, dreamy quality. To allow it to work for me, not against me. Instead I will just wander along with Brain, seeing what there is to see.

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