Thursday, July 19, 2012

Belief

    I feel as if I am living Life in a dream state. Day to day, week after week, month upon month, I move through my life feeling the surrealism of dreaming and dreams becoming realized. Life is carrying me along a course that is chosen and yet has the feeling of fate, destiny, a power greater than my own simple dreams. I know my hand is on the rudder, that I am the mistress of my course, and yet I am still being pushed ahead by the inexorable forces of wind and wave. Have I finally found the current that takes me in the direction that I need, want, desire? Can I finally stop tacking against the might of ocean and gale, making little headway and barely managing to stay the course, stay afloat? It seems as if this would be the case. Maybe my jubilation is premature, but even just a few weeks of a Life Less Resistant is a glorious, uplifting, radiant respite. Even if the current shifts and an ill wind blows I will at least feel rested and know that I have moved further along my chosen course. I know better than to become accustomed to the ease in which I am plowing through the water, wind whipping my hair, waves high and foam crested bumping me and pressing me forward. I know better than to feel complacent, for as soon as I relinquish my firm hand on the tiller, or take my eyes from the taut, snapping sail, I am likely to capsize and flounder. The forces driving my ship are too powerful to ignore, or underestimate.
    Yes, I am moving ahead, but it is truly no easy task. I am tired. My muscles ache. When I finally manage to collapse into my bed I sleep the hard sleep of the exhausted. Dawn comes too early, and I rise still tired, but ready to face the day's new challenges, tasks and adventures. In true fashion of the overworked, though I am tired, my body is rising to the challenge becoming slim, firm, strong, capable, tough. I am learning just how far I can push myself without pushing myself over the brink. I hope. And yet I feel as if I can push harder, give more, handle the power, manage the aches and pains, dash forward, ride the tsunami that builds power beneath my hull.
    So as my dreams become realities, as I captain the ship that propels me toward new dreams, dreams soon to be realized, I feel Life slipping around me with the softness of tropical breezes tinted with hibiscus and hurricane. My Dream Ship plows ahead, responsive to my guiding hand, but with an uncanny sense of direction. Am I Captain or Captive? Does it matter? I am moving ahead, making challenges, meeting challenges, dreaming, living a dream, realizing my dreams. Does it really matter who or what is guiding this Dream Ship of mine? I chose to believe it is my hand guiding my Fate, my Life, but with the beautiful aid of a power greater than any we may ever understand. The Power of Dreams. The Power of Belief. The Power of  Belief in My Dreams. It is a Power within us all, we just may have to wait for the winds and currents of change to make headway.

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