Friday, February 22, 2013
I feel an impending shift. A shift in my reality. A change, unstoppable, necessary, imminent. Lurking just behind my right shoulder, as prodigious as the storm clouds blanketing the area. Massive, monumental, majestic. Change is in the air every bit as tangible as the rain scouring the street. Galvanizing, grand, glorious. I am not sure if the changes will come from external forces, or internal. I know I need a change, but will it come sooner rather than later? Self imposed or inflicted? This late in the game it does not matter. I know if events do not come to a head on their own, I will force the issue. Now is not an ideal time, I grant you that. I am neck deep in a life that has me busy beyond belief, exhausted, worn out, frazzled, running to keep pace with all that life has to offer already. To toss in additional changes might very well tip me over the edge for a brief visit to Crazyland. But I have been there before, under far worse circumstances, and with far less support. It is a place that I am all too familiar with, and it does not frighten me, it just wears me out. The best I can do is turn, look behind me, watch for the looming Change, anticipate, attempt some control, direct the outcome, and eventually land on my feet. That is the key, to land on my feet. I am adept at that. Almost as adept as I am at falling flat on my face, getting back up, wiping the blood from my chin, and dusting road grime from my clothes. At that I am a g'damned expert. Change, whether I am ready or not, is coming. As irrepressible as the storm currently pounding us with wind and rain. Irrepressible, irresistible, unstoppable. Like me.