Thursday, February 14, 2013
I have begun to understand the root of much of what ails me. I am allowing external forces to effect my physical and emotional health. As much as I try to fend off the assault, it is difficult. What is at the root of all this angst? During my work day I am surrounded by people who give up before they even begin. They are so adept at finding every reason why something won't work that they refuse to look at ways to make it work. They have accepted failure, real or imagined. Accepted it to the point that they can see no other outcome. I refuse to approach life with such a defeatist attitude. I have worked hard to get where I am, and continue to reach for my dreams. I have pared out negative influences in my life, seeking out those with a similar, positive outlook. I have been knocked back, kicked down, stepped on. I have slipped off the ledge, gone over the edge, fallen, tripped. And yet I continue to pick myself up, dust myself off and try a different approach. All day I hear stories of woe, excuses, whining, complaining. I can only deflect so much. It is inevitable that some of this blackness will cling to me, attach itself to my psyche, attempt to drag me down into the communal morass. But I refuse to give in to it. I will not let the defeatism of others beat me down under its constant barrage. It will not happen. It will not be allowed. I chose to continue to seek a better path, a road to adventure, excitement, fulfillment. I am willing to let them lay in the gutter bemoaning their fate if that is what they choose, I will pick myself up and carry on. It is what I do.