Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Catch Me If You can

    Catch Me If You Can! I awoke with a vibrant optimism that cannot be reined in or rained on. Despite the negative forces assaulting me on every side, my optimism is like an impenetrable shield. True, it may very well be the launch of Mania. But honestly, I don't care what it is. It could be the onset of a delusional episode, dementia, or just  the result of a good night's sleep. I don't care. It feels fabulous. It feels as though light is radiating from within, casting a golden glow, illuminating the darkness that seeps out from those around me. I will not let myself be affected by their gloom and doom, their pessimism, depression, negativity. It will not be allowed.
    Today I am looking to the future. My future. I know there are changes in the air that will affect my current financial situation, and we're not talking happy windfall. I know that I am on the verge of joining the rank and file of the unemployed. Yeah, sure, it has been something that I have been watching and anticipating for the better part of four years, but each business dip goes a little deeper, and never rises back to it's previous level. It has the ups and downs of a rollercoaster; the inner machinations pulling the cars to the highest pinnacle, then the heart in throat first drop, each rise is just a little lower, inertia carries the ride forward but with gravity taking its toll forward momentum naturally slows, slower and lower until it grinds to a halt and everyone disembarks on shaky legs. But I have decided to take the ride, hands in the air, and shouting with glee. It is either that or be vomiting out the side from sheer stress and vertigo. Today I choose glee.
    The last few years have shown me that I am the hand on the till. My life is my own to steer where I will. Yes, there are outside forces that effect my course, my need for a source of income being one of them. But I know that I can either sit back and wait, hoping that situations will resolve themselves, wait and be miserable with inertia, allow life to roll me along like a log in the surf, tumble me, cast me ashore randomly, drag me under with a riptide, or I can fight back. I know those who are willing to be the log, and bemoan their fate, end up beached, stranded, buried in the sand. I am not the log. I choose to take control, make choices, look at options, cast about for ideas. I will let my imagination run rampant and wild with possibilities. I will face challenges, see them as opportunities.
    For all that has happened this last year, for as far as I have come, as beautifully as life has blossomed, I know it is jut the beginning. I have laid the groundwork, gained confidence, feel aglow with potential. Now I can look forward to an exciting future. An uncertain future, true, but exciting none the less. I am off an another epic, whirlwind journey; Catch Me If You Can.

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