Thursday, March 17, 2011

How Do They Know?

Thursday night, no sign of Elliot. Elliot, the toe-sucking tomcat. Of course he would go missing tonight of all nights. What is so special about tonight you might ask? Nothing really. It is tomorrow morning that hoilds special significance for Mr Fluffynutterkins. Tomorrow he will be permanently seperated from that which most males hold most dear. Yes, tomorrow he is to be neutered.
I have never understood how animals know that they have a date with destiny and will choose to forego dinner and a warm place to sleep in order to avoid it at all costs. There is often talk of animals predicting earthquakes, seizures and storms. But what is never discussed is there ability to predict medical visits.
So, it is now 9-1/2 hours until I am supposed to cram him into his tiny blue carrier and haul his smellybutt to the doctor, and he is nowhere to be seen. Maybe he thought it was suspicious that I was calling him in to dinner. I never do that. Damn, I had tried so hard to avoid tipping my hand, I should have known better than to break routine.
I have avoided any mention of the pending testicular removal. I haven't even whispered a hint to the dogs, even though I am sure they would find glee in the situation. I went so far as to avoid making the appointment over the phone in case of possible wire tapping. I stopped at the clinic on my way home from work, only spent a few minutes there, and so I wasn't even late getting home. I don't know where I slipped up, but these damn animals have resources we as humans can't even imagine.
For all I kow, I talk in my sleep. One careless word and the cat is out of the bag, so to speak... though I want the bags out of the cat.
I know it would be to no avail to try and convince him that it will be for his own good. No more fighting, no more late nights, he can legitimately sit around the house and be fat and lazy. What's not to love about that? But try to convince any male that he would be better off surrendering his stones and you will be met with cold resistance.
For now, I just have to hope that Elliot will decide to put in a showing so I won't embarrass myself by having to call the vet and tell them a story they have heard a thousand times before, "I don't know how, but he just knew."

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