Life has been so chaotically busy of late that I feel I am shaving minutes wherever and whenever I can. Shaving minutes and doling them out with a miserly hand. Drive a little faster to shave a few minutes off of my commute. A few spare minutes in the morning? Attempt to corral the chaos in the kitchen. I plan out every day, minute by minute, in an attempt to cram in everything that needs to get done. And still there is never enough time. At any given moment, a portion of Brain is looking ahead, planning my next move, hoping for a smooth transition between tasks, between activities. Life has become no different than when I am driving and looking ahead to traffic patterns, changing lanes, darting through small openings to the faster lane, avoiding brake lights, passing slow vehicles, one eye on the clock. It feels as if every minute of every day I have one eye on the clock, planning my next move, planning my day, my week, the month, for optimal usage of time. I think ahead to commutes, shopping, meals, workouts, classes. I even have to schedule in down time, little shards of relaxation. And yet, even with such miserly planning, there is so much not getting done. I feel my entire house is descending into a snake pit of disorder and dysfunction. I have to turn a blind eye to unfolded laundry, reminding myself that at least it is clean. I don't allow myself the luxury of sitting to watch a movie, or documentary, instead I will be cleaning while the movie plays in the background. I have a novel left half-read since all bedtime reading has been studying of one sort or another, and even then I rarely last more than a few minutes. The area most likely to be shorn of time has been sleep and social life.
I remind myself that graduation is only about 5 weeks away, and then, in theory, I will have a bit more time. At least my weekends will not be already spoken for. But starting tomorrow, I will be released to go on emergency calls, which will very likely sap even more time from sleep and social life. Just 5 more weeks until graduation, and then maybe, just maybe, I can catch up. Maybe, just a little. Hopefully. Until then I am shaving minutes.