Two Lists

    A few months back I wrote two lists in the little book that has become a combination journal, spell book, and To-Do list. In a sense, these were To-Do lists, but not in the home improvement sense. These were about life, living, sanity, and health. I haven't shared these lists with a single soul. But I read them over and over. I keep them in my mind and heart as I move through life. Even now, I hesitate to share them. But I feel as if by listing them here, for any and all to see, that it will make them even more tangible. I don't fully believe that if you think hard enough on an idea that it will manifest, but I do believe that we have control over our destiny by controlling how we perceive the journey that is life. The two lists are these:

What I Want
Self Employment
Alternative Income
Self Reliant Home
Independence
Love
Become Debt Free
Another Ironman
Train Harder
Solitude
Harmony
Health

What I Need
Moderate Income
Task Completion
Self Reliance
Independence
Solitude
Spiritual Reconnect
Harmony
Health

   These two lists made me realize just how little I need to be content. The two lists are different, but only by degrees. Mostly they speak to me of my very basic need for physical, mental, and spiritual health. All else is unimportant if any of these three things are absent.
    What inspired me to sit and write these? It was an item near the bottom of the Need list: Spiritual Reconnect. I was feeling as if something very vital had slipped away while I wasn't looking. And I felt empty. I knew I needed to find that spark, the spirituality that makes me who I am. I can say that just the acknowledgement that it was missing opened the pathway for its return.
    No, just writing these lists has not made all my dreams come true. But I have become deeply aware of just how much control I really do have over the course that my life takes. Even when things feel out of control, I know that my hand is still firmly on the tiller, I just have a rough bit of sea to sail through.