Thursday, February 27, 2014

Tied To The Moon

"For women who are tied to the Moon, love is not enough. We insist each day wrap it's knuckles through our heartstrings and pull. The lows. The joy. The poetry. We dance at the edge of a cliff and you have fallen off. So it goes. You climb back up again.

You rare girl. Once again you have a body that belongs to no lover, no father, belongs to no one but you. Wear your sorrow like the lines of your palm, like a shawl to keep you warm at night. Don't mourn the love that is lost to you now. It is a book of poems whose meters worked their way into the meter of your pulse. Even if it has slipped from your hand, it will stay in your body.

You loved a man who treated you like absinthe; half poison, and half goddess. He tried to sweeten you, water you down. So you left. And now you have your heart all to yourself again. A heart like a stone cottage. A heart like a lover's diary. Hope like an ocean."

Clementine Von Radics

I wish I could take credit for these beautiful words. They reach deep into my soul and speak to me of secrets and sorrow,  I am tied to the Moon, she is a goddess who shines her pale, silver light down to light my way through the night, to chase away my demons. My mind plays with thoughts such as these, that love is not enough. I don't think this out of any sense of love lost, or taken, or denied. These are not the bitter, jaded thoughts of a woman scorned, or betrayed, or cast aside. I used to think that it was my love that was flawed, faulty, not worthy. No, it is not that simple, romantic love is not enough for me. I wish it could be, but it is not. I think this radiates off of me like a palpable wave, making me untouchable, intimidating, unloveable. Again, these are not the words and thoughts of an oft-jilted, resentful ex-lover. For one who wears her heart on her sleeve, has "a heart, strong and true, loyal to a fault," one who can see the beauty of spirit, and the worthiness of nearly everyone, one who all too easily gives of the heart, this is a heavy burden. I wish it were so simple, to find "true love," and ride off into the sunset to a happily ever after. But I know that will never be my fate, because love is not enough. The realization of this, some time ago, actually, has led me to seek out alternative paths, stop looking for love, and find a different way. I am tied to the Moon, I am hers, and she is mine, and in the darkness we will shine.

1 comment:

  1. Its not you. No man has been strong enough for you yet is all.