Monday, November 12, 2012

Oh So Alive

    My life keeps propelling me forward at a pace that is nigh on impossible to maintain. Or so I keep thinking. I am awaiting The Crash, burnout, exhaustion, depletion, but so far there is no indication that it will happen. My stamina amazes me. As I race forward, busy, frenetic, sleep deprived, I can't help but feel smug with my ability to keep apace. Just when I think life will slow to a mundane pace, another factor gets tossed into the mix. And I admit, I am loving it. Yes, I am often tired, but manage to keep fatigue at bay through sheer force of will until it is time to crawl into my cozy bed. I am falling behind on the mundane tasks of life, they seem so banal, pedestrian, and common. But they are relevant aspects of life, chores that must be done,  elements of life that are, in reality, essential to my peace and comfort.
    A distinct advantage (or disadvantage, depending on P.O.V.) of life in high gear is that it makes it nearly impossible to sit still for any length of time. I work, workout, get home and find more things to do. I gleefully go until I drop. How long can I go? How far will I get? Will it end? Will I find overdrive? 
    Sometimes I do wish for a few moments of silence, calm, nothingness. To sit still and let life wash around me, warm waves lapping at my feet, soft breeze warm on my skin, eyes closed, listening to silence. Such moments do present themselves, and I taste test them, relish the flavor for a moment, then Body and Brain insist I get up and start moving. There is too much living to be done.
    So I allow life to shoot me forward, breakneck pace, high gear, screaming RPMs. I hang on for dear life, eyes watering, teeth clenched, pulse pounding, adrenaline surging, riotous, exciting, innervating, thrilling. Tiring, true. But, oh so Alive.      

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