Wednesday, August 31, 2011

A Deck of Fifty-One

    Have you ever had the feeling that you're playing solitaire with a deck of 51? Yes, I know the old song, "counting flowers on the wall..." but that's not what I mean. It feels that no matter how many times I shuffle and deal the cards I have, I can't seem to get the game to play out. I get so close, and think I have won for sure, but then I am stymied by a few undisclosed cards. Granted, I am still enjoying the game, trying new hands, new strategies, new angles. I am not giving up despite my rather glum record. I guess it does come down to managing to enjoy the game whether I am winning or not.
    I have even tried different games, reshuffling and dealing time after time. But no matter the game I play, without that missing card I feel I will always come up a bit short. What I need is a whole new deck. One that is still sealed in shrink wrap and guaranteed fresh for my safety. A shiny new deck that is still crisp and waxy, not worn and faded. A complete deck, all the cards, even the jokers (because every game needs a few wild cards).
    I think the time has come for me to seek out this holy grail, fountain of youth, city of gold, Full Deck. Not that I haven't  been trying to find the missing card, that vital component that will let me win a game. I really just want to win one game. Is that asking too much? For as often as I shuffle and re-deal I wouldn't think that I am asking too much of  Lady Luck to grant me just one win. It's not like I'm playing for big stakes, or expecting a huge pay-off. I would just like the personal satisfaction of knowing that the concept of winning is not out of reach. I just need to find the missing card. Maybe it is in the sofa cushions with the loose change and remote.

1 comment:

  1. I know you're speaking in the tongue of metaphor, but out of curiosity, have you tried to put down the 51 in favor of a tarot deck? A whopping 78 cards traditionally, plus reversals; and the cards always point towards your win, like a trusty north star.