Saturday, September 19, 2015


    This is a bit of a cross-over post. It could easily go into my training blog, but since it is a bit more random it will go here with the other random ramblings. The last few weeks... okay, months really, have been so busy and physically demanding that my body is presenting with the same weirdo symptoms I would have from over-training and physical burnout: chronic fatigue, muscle weakness and soreness, lowered immune system, difficulty sleeping, strange dreams, altered appetite, short temper, and a general overall achy, whiny, cry-baby feeling. It is possible that I am just starting to dip into the first shadowy bits of seasonal affected disorder, or "My Melancholy" as I much prefer to call it (it does sound more romantic, and less plebeian).
    The last few weeks especially have been rough, and the last few days have been on the cusp of miserable. Last week I was stricken low by what had to have been a stomach bug. I slept 28 hours out of 36, and was incapable of doing much more than sit like a blob during the few hours I was awake. Okay, I did make it to drill at the station, but it was a sit and blah-blah-blah meeting instead of an active, training drill night.
    Today I have a scratchy throat, fatigue, and muscle weakness. I sanded some cedar boards for the Fort this evening after work and felt rather feeble. I was hanging with a sick grandson on Thursday, confident in my strong immune system, and now have been proven over-confident. As I said more than a few times last week when wrestling my way through the stomach bug, "I don't have time to be sick." Tomorrow is another day to head out to The Art Farm and glean a truckload of brick and block, and hopefully more building materials. The sudden resurgence of necessary trips out to the family property was not on the agenda, my plate was plenty full already... overflowing, actually. But the property has sold, closing is in about a month, so any salvage to do needs doing now, not later. So everything else screeches to a halt while I tend to the immediate.
     Yes, I have been putting in crazy long days lately as I try so hard to get the homestead buttoned up for winter. I do go a bit overboard when I get a chance to glean building materials. My projects will have to wait a few days, as much as I hate to do that. There is so much to do, and never enough time. I do push myself hard, but if I don't get the work done it isn't going to get done. Too poor to hire someone, too independent to ask for help, too single to even imagine a partner.
    Truth be told though, I prefer working alone. I love the Zen of hard work. But lately my body is paying the price for my overzealous nature. I have been forcing myself to actually skip workouts. You heard me right:  Skip Workouts.  Me, skipping workouts!  You know it is some serious shit when I am only getting in 3 or 4 training sessions a week. I am forcing myself to look at the hard physicality of my current projects as a form of CrossFit type training. Hell, people pay good money to carry rocks in a CrossFit club. Me? I do it for the rocks. But between the scraping and sanding of house painting, the hauling and stacking of brick and concrete block, and the cutting and hauling of a bunch of seedling plum trees, I have gotten some hella bodacious workouts done. Yes, I am griping a bit about feeling used up, worn out, fried, and frazzled, but the work has got to get done. And remember, my work is play... really, really hard play.

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