Here I am, on the cusp of a new year. Midnight is 25 minutes away, and with it the first moments of 2015. It has been an odd ending to what has been an exciting and adventurous year.
Having my job come to a close was more emotionally draining than I had expected. It was an odd combination of fear of the unknown, sadness and a sense of loss, coupled with sheer exhilaration at all the possibilities now opening up before my like an exotic flower. I have not been sleeping well these last few weeks. At first it was because of the zaniness of internet retail during the holiday shopping season. As that was winding down and there was time to breathe, I began to feel the looming loss, which did its best to keep me sleep deprived. As if that weren't enough, suddenly Brain kicked into high gear with myriad of possibilities. My mind went into overdrive thinking of exciting, creative avenues that I am now free to follow. Suffice to say, I need to get caught up on my sleep. Now I sit on the edge of the new year, unemployed, or, as I prefer, self-employed, I am ready to leap into the unknown, and I am fucking excited. Exhausted, drained, a little sad, but excited as hell. So excited that I actually skipped several parties I was invited to, and had all intentions of attending, because I went into a flurry of cleaning and organizing in my desire to be able to start working on a prototype for a new business venture. Yes, I am being a bit secretive. Let's just say I think I have finally figured out an untapped market for creations that will let me use some of my mad skills.
This last year has let me push myself physically farther than I would have imagined just a few short years ago. And has also let me imagine how much further I can go. I have not seen the limits of my strength, and am eager to keep pushing my boundaries. I love pushing myself, finding a limit and pushing against it until it is no longer limiting. Yes, this does keep me sore and tired a good bit of the time, but I love every minute of it.
Nine minutes until midnight. Yes, home alone, just me and the dogs. Yes, I did get in a good, sweaty cycling workout, and make myself a beautifully healthy dinner. My festive splurge was herbal tea and dark, organic chocolate. Home alone, but not lonely, I am great company.
Funny, now that I am not required to live by an alarm clock or work schedule, I am in a hurry to "get things done." That's what Brain keeps telling me, "C'mon, let's Get Things Done!" I want to rush through getting my home and workspace organized, rush out to buy supplies, design, draw, cut, tool, stitch. I want to dive in and get busy. I am so excited by the prospect of where I am heading that I am scatterbrained, hyperactive, distracted, attention deficit. It is making me a bit crazy.
Three, two, one... Happy New Year! And it will be. Happy, New, Exciting, Adventurous.