Sunday, June 9, 2013

Chemical Makeup

    Oh Optimism, you refuse to leave my side even when I would gladly chuck you out the door. I should have known that you, of all creatures, would not abandon me in my time of need. Despite broken heart, damaged trust, crushed self esteem, life on the financial edge, and wolves at the door, you return with your rose colored glasses. Of course, in my self analytic way, I do wonder if you are actually delusion in optimism's clothing. That would make more sense, at this particular fork in the road. But then, as I have stated often enough before, I am the eternal optimist. When I say that I am not just blowing smoke, it is an ingrained, to the marrow, element of my base formula. I could give it the chemical abbreviation of EO, you would find it in my cells along side of C, Fe, O2, and Ca. An essential, binding element that holds together the very essence of my being. Without EO I would likely shatter into a million shards, and blow away on the wind. It is the part of me that motivates, drives, restores, rejuvenates, heals. The part of me that will not allow me to permanently give in to pressures, defeats, failures, rejections. It prevents lasting bitterness, grief, dismay, disillusionment, defeat. EO picks me up when I am all alone, tends to my needs, tucks me in at night, and protects me from my demons. Even when I rage against it, beat my fists upon it, attempt to dislodge it from my system, even try to wish it away, it remains steadfast and true. Yes, it may just be Delusion in Optimism's clothing, but it is my delusion, to have and to hold, until death do we part.

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