Last night I randomly opened my copy of "Way of the Green Witch" and, as magic tends to happen, I was on the page I needed to see. I read the priorities of a Green Witch (or Hedgewitch, as I label myself): The Earth, Humanity, Self. I am far better at understanding the needs and intricacies of The Earth and Humanity, than I am of understanding and caring for Self.
The book told me what I needed to hear: that discovering one's true Self is a complicated, rigorous, and often life-long journey. The we (meaning me) often hide our darkest selves deep within our psyche, so deep we may not even be aware of their existence. That often we (meaning me) become so adept at lying to ourselves about our state of happiness and well being that we don't even hear the lies, or know them for what they are. I know I do this, I know I tell myself what I want to be the Truth instead of recognizing my reality for what it is. I have spent so much of my life as an illusion of Smoke and Mirrors. I create the Illusion for myself as much as for others. The book reminded me that we all have a Dark side that we often hide so deep within that we aren't even aware of its existence. But we need Dark to Balance the Light. We need to understand the Dark part of our Nature in order to fully understand ourself, be our true Self and find Balance.
Dark is not Bad. It is not Evil. It is not Wrong. I feel that often we (meaning me) supress the parts of our Nature that we deem unacceptable to the masses, the white-bread populace, Corporate Amercia, Primetime TV. We hide the Dark so we can slip through the mass of humanity unnoticed, instead of feeling isolated and alone. I admit that I am often on the fringe of society and a loner by choice, this is one aspect that makes me a Hedgewitch. But I need to discover the Dark inside and reconcile it with the Light in order to find my true Self, true Balance, and inner Peace.
We must have Dark to Balance the Light. By finding those corners of shadowed psyche we can achieve Strength, Balance and Power. True Balance is a powerful energy in and of itself. Just as physical Balance is imperative to physical strength and power, so is mental Balance imperative to mental strength and power. True Balance will prevent Life's vagaries from wreaking havoc and mayhem. Balance will help me better weather the storms that are on the horizon.
My Goal, as I enter this new phase of my life, is to search every nook of my inner Self, find my hidden Dark Nature and let her out into the Light to play. To stop living by Smoke and Mirrors, find the Dark, understand myself, leave illusion behind and step into Reality. Balance my Dark and Light. Understand my True Self. Find my Balance so I can hold strong in the face of adversity, and revel in the Joy of my Life.