I am beginning to think that I have slipped into an alternate reality. Both personal and professional aspects of my life have suddenly become paths pitted with potholes of inappropriate responses to the most casual of comments. Gone is my mundane job sitting at my desk, answering phones, purchasing, receiving, customer service. My job in this alternate reality is that of an attendant in a psych ward, or possibly just the least insane of the inmates. Am I therapist or patient? The line has blurred. It is possible that I have been lab-ratted into an experiment designed to test my patience, adaptability and coping skills. Testing me. Testing my mettle. Pushing buttons. Pulling strings. Seeing how far I can be strained before I snap or capitulate.
Today has felt like mid-term exams. Just how crazy can the surroundings become and still allow my brain and psyche to function at some level of normalcy? It has been repeatedly shown to me today (as with most days, but today is an extreme) that even the most banal statement can cause a concussion of deranged responses, leading further down the path of lunacy, deeper into the rabbit hole. I mention an amusing anecdote and it rapidly erodes into a discussion of corporal punishment. I don't want to know how it degraded to that point, or how it happened with such speed and ease, but it did. And this has seemed to be the case in so many situations. The random discussion (not started by me and in which I was a reluctant sounding board) about child pornography, teenagers sexting, who is the criminal (he says the girl who starts it), and how it shouldn't be a crime to receive unwanted and unasked for porn. Why do I want to hear this? Why am I being told? Is there a deeper reasoning? An unsolicited confession/defense? I don't want to know, and don't want to play any more.
Everywhere I turn, I am being bombarded by bizarre statements, announcements, accusations and declarations. I am the lab rat, surrealism the test drug, my life the maze. But I say "Game Over, man. Game OVER!"